Resident Evil 5

The demo came out a few months before the game and like a child at christmas time I was pacing as it downloaded. I loved Resident evil 4 and played it until most of the characters were burned into my retinas. All I could here in my head was "what're ya buyin?? What're ya sellin'??"

Finally the demo came in and I dove into it like I was Scrooge McDuck in his money storage area. I was pleased that it was like RE4 however disappointed at the same time. Games really moved forward since the last game so my expectations were very high. The African setting was gorgeous to look at but wasn't great in terms of scares. I though "I'll just wait for the full game to come out and scare myself silly then."

The full game finally came out. I brought it home, ripped it out of it's package and played it like crazy. After the first playthrough it gives you the option of upgrading your weapons and buying infinate ammo. This brought me through to another playthrough, this time with my girlfriend on second player. The game was more pleasurable with a second person, as I didn't have to tell the AI constantly to wait, take cover, or stop picking up useless ammo. However making the game 2 player also makde the game a lot less frightening.

I love the resident Evil series, as it's the first series that really scared the crap out of me in a game. It seems to me as they're trying to move away from scares and make another action game to contend with Gears of War, Halo, Killzone. All fine games, but I want some horror and scares!


I'm not saying RE5 is bad it just doesn't "feel" like Resident Evil anymore.

Another comparison to the Gears of War franchise is Chris Redfield's steroid riddled body. Another thing to take away suspense and scares is to play with a friend that yells "ROID RAGE!!" every time you get into a heavy battle with zombies. (there should be an acheivement titled Roid Rage)


They also got rid of the merchant. Now everytime you die you can purchase weapons/manage your inventory. You only have so many slots in your main inventory so this can be a pain in the ass, however once you have infinate ammo for a weapon of your choice it doesn't matter how small the inventory is.
Overall I prefer Resident Evil 4 over this game. The 2 player is fun and addictive but it's missing out on creepy moments, good scares, and imaginative bosses. Even Wesker looks like Neo from the Matrix. Resident Evil 4 was able to be scary but also a great action game. This however has failed to be scary and is straight up action.

8/10

G.I. Joe, The Rise of Cobra - Game Trailer

What the Hell?!!!.. really??? I'm speechless, why not take all my beloved 80's cartoons, bring them all in one room and have them all ass raped by Mentally Retarded Donkey's.

Go ahead, do that...Don't forget Strawberry Shortcake, we wouldn't want her to miss the Donkey ass raping.

Theirs no excuse for this, this is just a hack and slash job for a release date to coincide with the summers movie. Like my beloved Transfomers, this game is going to suck balls. Its looks like something you see on the Nintendo 64 and for sure something you see on the PS1, maybe early Dreamcast.

Fuck you Muther humping Donkey lovers for screwing up good shit.

Getting Past Visari Palace on Elite - KillZone 2

So I just went and beat KillZone 2 on elite, and boy was that one of the hardest things I ever done in a long while. It reminded me of the old days of playing NES games. When you die and you try again and again and after each time you get a little tiny bit further each time. I went online to look up some strategies for getting past the last part of the game, the Visari Palace part to be specific.

What I hate about online help is that alot of it is very vague. For example, "I beat elite, it was hard, but just keep moving and knifing people and eventually you will do it" Well WOOP DE FUCKIN DOO, thats alot of help to me. Move and Knife people, really?...I was just planning to stand in one spot and punch them if they came to close.

So after no help from the Internet it was all trail and error and trying to find out what worked and what didn't. In the process of doing this, my death count was 474 times. Really theres No one sure way of beating this part. There is a way that will work, but half is luck, (head shot here, lucky stab there) and the other half is being in the right spot at the right time.

So this is my attempt to help those looking for a detailed way to make it through on elite with minimum deaths.

Overall Tips for Elite.

1)Use cover ALWAYS. Do not run and gun anything. You can take 1 straight hit from an enemy, if anything even grazes you after that, your dead.

2)Don't take grenades lightly, you hear that drop and ticking time bomb land next to you, run. Grenades are 100% effective with their blast radius.

3)Do not run past enemies to get to a save point. If you do this and die, when you respawn, you respawn behind enemy lines. I did this and had to restart the level.

4)Don't get caught with 2 bullets in the clip, reload, reload, reload. If you are in the middle of a fire fight, its faster to switch to the hand gun or knife and run ahead to finish the job.

Those are some tips that may or may not help. From here on, is a map, of what I did and what order to do it in. I started half way through the level because it would be unfair for me to give a description of how I did it, because it was pure luck. I ran, shot a couple guys, ducked, dodge, return fire and waited for my squad to catch up with me. But it was luck, I tried the same thing before and it always didn't work, I was just frustrated and said fuck it and threw grenades and fired head shots has I ran. A couple of them hit and boom, I made it.

But compare to what came after that part, the previous bit was a cake walk. IT was here that I died and died and died until I found something that worked rather well.

1. Go inside one of the bunkers and get the grenade gun and hide behind the sand bags and take out the ATAC from their. Its usually between 4-6 hits. Its one of the easiest parts of this madness.

2. Then grab one of the main rifles that will be lieing around on the ground. The ones with the green sighting. Move the the left pillar and head shot the guy behind the first turret.

3. Then run to the right pillar and head the second guy behind the turret.

(once these guys are dead, no one else will respawn to take their place.

4. Keep the same rifle and head up to the foot of the stairs behind the sandbag, and grenade the areas where their are guys. Theres usually one behind the box on the top of the stairs and one down at the foot of the stairs. I usually throw one in the entrance way as well for good measure.

After you throw the grenades, run up and hit them to finish them off while they are stunned, if you grenade didn't kill them.

5. Throw a grenade through the walk way, so no one will bother you while you head shot the next 2 guys on the turrets with the rifle.

6. By this time, your guys should be all up their with you, if not, throw a grenade in the area through the walk way to finish off the last enemy. Don't worry about grenades, theres more lieing around up ahead.

Once your guys are shoulder to shoulder with you, throw out a couple grenades in area (7) the way that you will want to go to next. You will want to take cover behind a large metal wall here. So right after the grenades go off, run to the area and club the guys if they are stunned.

7. Here is the part that is tricky and alot of luck needed. Throw out all your grenades, one if front of you, one up buy the upper right most turret and one near the entrance. Don't wait for the last one to land, after you throw it, run for the door. Don't shoot anything, just run for the entrance.

I literally was shot on my way through the entrance door and just has the death animation was playing and all was turning to grey I fell through the door and the next cut scene played. IT was stupid hard.

Mean while doing all this, watch for grenades, do alot of peek a boo tactics. And move the minute you are getting hit. Don't think I can take him befor I get killed, they most always win.

well, I hope that helps some people, that part was insane for me, super hard. I would have done one for Radec aswell, but that next part was so random that everything I tried, either worked sometimes and didn't others.

Like I said, luck was a big factor,but keeping Rico alive does help distract the bad guys from you. So don't just let him be dead. you will just die faster that way has well. And one person said to kill Radec just knife him, DON"T DO THAT. unless you are a knife god. More times that any, you think things will be going right and they he gets that one knife of his own past your defenses and you have to start all over again.

I just used the bazooka to start, then switched to my rifle for the rest. sorry I can't be more help than that for inside the palace. But at least getting their should be a little easier.

KillZone2 - SinglePlayer - PS3

So I finally got Killzone 2, which when I first heard about it, I was not interested. But then the reviews that were coming out for it was raving about the game, saying it to be one of the best in the top 5 best shooters of all time, etc. So I figured I give it a try.

So far, I am still doing the single player missions. I finished the game on veteran and am playing through a second time on Elite. Yes, to get the trophy, but also, its really fun. This is not a game that you can run and gun your way through. You have to pick a spot and take out your targets and move ahead, gaining a little ground at a time. It is one of the more realistic shooters I've ever played, even though its on a different planet, Helghast.

Each time you play through, there are quite a few ways to handle the situation. If you die one way, don't just keep rushing in the same way, take a different route, set up behind a wall, etc. There are enviromental items that can assist you in killing the Helghast, such has explosive everything. If a guy has set up behind a concrete pillar, just keep shooting the pillar until he has no cover, boxes are handle the same way.

The AI is some of the smartest I've ever seen as well. Almost has if you were playing against really people. If a guy is hidden behind a box and sticks his head up and you shoot his helmet off, he won't just keep sticking his head up in the same spot, he will move around, sticking his head out from the side, moving down a bit. They are really frikken smart. They will tuck their legs in from a firing spot, its really well done.

The animations of the guys getting killed and the blood splatter is awesome, again, some of the best I've seen in any game. The physics in the game is really well done, from grenades, the bolt gun, pinning people to walls with a giant bolt gun is friggin awesome!! Each weapons handles different, its just not a faster or more powerful version of the last gun. Keeping your buddies alive really help you along, but I've found in some situations you can sit back and they will clear out a room, and other times, I've seen ever one of them die and then all the Helghast focus their attention on me, That usually ends in death. So keep your guys alive, it really helps.


Things that pop up in a game that are irritating from time to time. The cover system is much like gears of war, the only thing is, you can't see, if you are covered completely like you can in the over the shoulder view you get in Gears. So if I take refuge against a wall, and I think I am covered, but part of me may be sticking out and I won't know it untill I see blood splats appear(That's me getting hit)

The other thing, is the friendly AI. The enemy AI is spot on. But there were a couple of times that my guys were just plain morons. I've died a few times because your buddies get in the way, or I've watched them die because they didn't move outta the way of gun fire. One instance I was running down the stairs and one guys shouts, "Here comes a Heavy(This is not a good thing) Take COVER!!" But my guys are all on the stairs and its was like they went into panic mode and just did circles on the stairs, so I couldn't move and we all ended up dead. This happened a few times and all at pivotal points in the game. Its like a boss appear and they all shit their pants briefly, but long enough for everyone to get screwed.



Overall, this is really great game. The single player was a little short, I think I did it in 9 hrs, not sure, but much longer than COD4. I didn't feel ripped off when I finished the end of Killzone2 like I did on COD4. so for single player I have to give this a 10/10


When I stop trophy hunting in single player I will start multiplayer and do a little chat about that. But if you own a PS3 and like FPS, then this is a must have for everyone. And if you like, hit me up for a little online gaming. My call sign is Victory_Class. That is of course when I start Mulitplayer for KZ2.

Chuck Rock - SNES

I don't know why I was excited about this game when it first came out. Maybe the graphics, maybe because I like games with dinosaurs in them and it was cartoony with fart noises. I don't really know. But I was happy to get this game non the less.

There is nothing special about the game ingeneral, its your typical side scroller, you being a cave man who could jump kick and hit things with your belly and of course, Chuck Rocks at things, or use them has steps.

This is one of those games that you couldn't just play and be good at games. You had to play, screw up and learn from your mistakes. What I mean by this is, its like Battle Toads bike run, you had to know what was coming out next in order to survive. If not, things would just fly out of nowhere too fast and doesn't give you time to react. Alot of the times I found my self jumping and kicking way before the enemy would come out on screen, just because if I walked into the part where the enemy was, he would just hit you.


So, with some trial and error, I got through the first level. It was the end of the second level where you fight a underwater seamonster that I died constantly. And once you lose your 3 lives, you started all over again. Which I did, but every time I got to the boss, I couldn't tell if I was hitting him, I move towards him and kick and he shoot bubbles at me and I would die.

Its one of those things, that makes you wonder, am I doing something wrong. So I tried this again and again, moving around to different areas of the boss, until finally I gave up and put the game up for over a year. For a year, this game sat on my shelf with me mind boggeled on how to beat that stupid level 2 boss.


Unlike today where internet gives you all the answers, I finally got my answer from the Nintendo power up magazine. Float by his head, not too close and not too far away and kick like a sun uf a bitch.

So off I went so excited that I knew how to kill him. But really you need full life, cause any hits with the bubbles kill you. Anyway, I finally killed that stupid bitch, and once he was dead, the rest of the game was simple. I finished it that same day. A game that sat there on my shelf for over a year was finally done.


It wasn't spectacular and had a major flaw with the 2nd level boss. I just couldn't tell if I was hitting him. But when you hit him in the right spot, it was all good. It was too stupid to be fun at that point.

Overall, I did enjoy playing the rest of the game, nothing fancy, just a game.
5/10
There wasn't many good videos of this game. But its a little sample of what its like.

Bronze MY ASS!!! - SF4 - MK vs DC

Are they making games harder on purpose or am I just getting older and can't keep up with whats expected in a game. Personally I think I grew up in a time where a game was relentless, there were no save points, you only had 3 lives and maybe if you were lucky, you got 3 continues, but had to start the entire level all over again, And I finished a shit load of those fucked up no live, no continue, start all over again,Games!!

My Gripe is with Mortal Kombat VS DC and Street Fighter 4. The main thing, are trophies, but to be specific, combo challenges. With earlier versions of both these games I could pull off combo challenges with some, SOME effort. It wasn't insane hard, and it wasn't a cake walk, but offered enough challenge that one could feel that ,"wow, I did it, that was kinda hard!"



But these new versions, holy fuckin cow!! you have to be an idiot savant, a total Street fighter and MK freak! to pull combos off. I've been tryin to both the challenges, using You tube videos and Written FAQ's for both games. They don't help, Reason?!...faster......FASTER.....FASTER.......FASTER....FASTER............FASTER

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy both these games and are great with friends and have no problem pullin off supermoves , etc. But stick me on those frikken combo challenges and its not, just input button commands and have it work, its now all about super tight timing.

Here is an example, "Jump forward, kick (when do I kick, at the bottom of the jump, at the height of the jump, can I spam the kick?) Strong punch (Do I hit strong punch right away, should I wait to land before I strike?)pause forward forward kick,( right away?..no, a little later, wait untill I see the strong punch just about to connect with face, then?!) THIS IS STUPID!!!!
AND THATS ONE OF THE EASIER ONES. When I do connect, its usually by freak accident.

These things arn't fun, although if you have a buddy, they are kinda of fun for a bit, until the both of you are sat their and still trying to pull off the same combo for the past 20 min. My friend Matt has a hole worn in his thumb trying to Hadokens, It won't be long now, till his thumb is down to his bone with his "pounds per square inch" moves.

All these combo challenges should be listed has silvers in the trophy's list, but nope, they are bronze, FUCK THAT, bronze...Do you know what a bronze is. GTA4, I started the game, I got a bronze trophy!!! Genesis collection, I spoke with another Dolphin in Ecco to get a Bronze Trophy, Little Big Planet, I stuck a sticker on someones head and got a Bronze Trophy. See a pattern here?!!!! That's right you stupid fucking morons!!!

If all those challenges were listed has silver trophies, then I wouldn't be complaining right now, .....well maybe...but at least it would make sense. When you see all those bronze (EASY) trophies and know that you won't be able to get them no matter how deep the hole in your thumb gets, its infuriating!!!

Its like they are making these challenges all for hardcore gamers and saying FU to everyone else. Well suck my monkey balls and shove your BRONZE trophy's up your asss...yeah, right Bronze!!!??Psshhhh!!!






Here are some stupid videos of people trying to help, I get a kick outta the ones who post them doing the move, but still doesn't show me how its done, "WOW, great arsehole, you can do the move and I seen it happen, I still don't know how the hell or when the hell you pressed certain buttons"!! dickhead!!

Earthworm Jim - Super Nintendo

What a Fantastic! game. There was nothing that I can think of that made this game bad in anyway. Even by today's standards, its still a kick ass game. Every level was different, every enemy had to be handled differently, there were bosses at the end of each world, its was great to look at, and Jim did a ton of different things. He wasn't the standard, jump and shoot. If you left him to his own devices, he would do little idle animations, of shooting himself in the face, or skip rope, etc.

My biggest memory in this game was the lens flare in the first level. Just like in the starwars games that gave me a lightsaber to turn off and on and Wolverines Claws to extract, earthworm Jim had a lens flare. It was awesome to walk back and fourth and see this lens flare track along with you has you moved. It really made you feel like it was full on 3-d when most games at the time were all 2-D side scrollers.


Each level was a masterpiece, you go into school the next day and tell your buddies, I got past level 3 and in the next level I had to ride a hamster and this new thing happened where I got pulled outta my body and I was a worm hopping to get back to my suit, it was Raaad, (That was the cool word back then, so it only seem appreciate to use it now, Its still Rad!!)


It was like they took all the goodness from other games and piled it all into this game. It was kick ass fun like BattleToads, but without the insane hardness. It was great getting to the next level and waiting in anticipation of what the heck are they going to pull off now. Riding rockets, getting chased by a mutant dog, saving puppies, whipping crows, launching cows.


And the Music, who could forget that!?the level 2 that had the Classical music with the cat boss battle to the quirky little sounds that made the game. Jims voice over of , "GROOOVY!". There was never any sense of receptiveness, everything seemed new and fresh, even it was just level 2.


Fantastic game, that everyone, non gamers and gamers should play. Its definitely in the top 10 games of all time for me for sure.

10/10

The cartoon was even kinda funny, but had that "horrible crappy we don't care about this anymore, so take this amount of money and make something move on screen" Look. I liked the opening sequence for it. AND HAHAHAHAHA, what a laugh of people making the cartoon!!! Each drawing is photographed in, that's right!! Polaroids!!!. All is missing are the Asians who work for rice and goat milk overseas. This video leads me to believe that the chick with frizzy hair animates the whole damn thing herself. By looking at the quality of the show, perhaps she did.
Anyway, EnJOY!!!

Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection - PS3

I love Retro games,anything 8-bit, 16 bit, vector, Basically anything that I remember playing or seeing when I was a kid. So when a company releases a compilation of all their games on one disc, I usually pick it up. I'm a sucker for old nostalgia type games. I got quite a few of them for the PS2 and recently they released a compilation of them for the PS3 called Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection. Its almost the same game compilation that came out for the PS2, with minor changes here and there and more games added.

What can I say, I'm a big fan of these types of releases, especially the Genesis. There are over 40 plus games on this thing and all of them were games that I wanted to play when I was a kid, but either didn't because I couldn't afford them, or something new came out that I wanted to play more. Anyway, its a great trip down memory lane for me.

The game is set up to look like a Genesis system, with selectable carts on the right and the console on the left. Its really kick ass!! They all come with a little blurp about the game and includes game art. Their are interviews, but if you own the PS2 one, its the same interviews. Also it has a number of arcade titles that you can play, so you keep hitting the button to insert more quarters. So one can finally finish one of those money pot games without having to spend your months allowance trying to finish Altered Beast.


They also included Mulitplayer on these games, so you can play with friends on coop games such has streets of rage and Sonic 2. Its a really great feature.

The best thing of all, it has TROPHIES!!! yaaaaaayy, I love trophies and getting trophies based of requirements for these old titles were really fun. I have to say that out of all the games I own with Trophy's. This game by far was the easiest and some of he funnest ones I had ever gotten. I don't know if it was because of the old retro feel, but I had super fun getting the trophies here.


An example of some trophies were, reach this stage, or for Ecco the Dolphin, eat 200 fish, collect 100 rings or get 10,000,000 pts in sonic spinball in the first level. And in trying to get each of these, I found myself enjoying playing the game itself.

I really don't have any gripe with this game except, when I first turned on the game there was sound, then when I selected a game and the game started, the sound disappeared. I thought that the game was screwed up or the emulation of the games on the disc was done wrong. Instead the sound for the game runs on the same line has my headset. So the sound was being played through my headset. So if you unplug your headset or change the settings in the PS3, it works just fine.
I really enjoyed this game and you will be happy to know, that this title got me my 3rd Platinum Trophy, yeeeehaaaa. I am really sad that I finished this game, but its always still fun to go back to old titles with a friends and just go through levels. Its a great time, if you are a fan of old retro games, than you will love this title. I think my rating for this game will be a little bias than most gamers, so its a little higher on my list than most people would rate it.

8.5/10

Kangaroo - Atari 2600

Holy Shit, its a Monkey Punchin' Kangaroo!!

You see, your kid is at the top of the level and you are at the bottom and you have to get to him and punch apple throwing monkeys along the way. TADA!!! I'm going to make a game where you have to punch cross throwing nuns, and you play has Hitler!

This game was pretty simple, your basic Donkey Kong rip off, but seeing has I didn't own Donkey Kong on the Atari 2600, this was the next best thing. In fact I rather enjoyed punching the monkeys. Although it was difficult to time the punches to hit the monkeys and even harder to time it so you punched the apples they threw, I had a good time. In fact it was probable one of the few games that had you punching something, actually physical violence against animals.

My memory of this game was when my religious cousins came over to play and I remember thinking, "I wonder if its OK for "God" people to see monkeys getting Punched?" and being almost embarrassed when their Dad, my Religious uncle coming in my room and looking at a game, where you punched monkeys in the head. Hey, what the hell did I know, I was 7.


But it was definitely one of my favourite games to play back then. Perhaps it paved the way for GTA, after all you got to start punching somewhere, might has well be monkeys.

6/10